The very first time I heard the term
"friendly fire" was during the Persian Gulf
War. It occurs when due to a mistake or
misunderstanding soldiers from the same country or
unit accidentally fire on their own soldiers instead
of their enemies. It is not a willful act but
something unintentional. The severity of the act
determines the outcome.
At times "friendly fire"
wounds or maims-at other times it kills. It is
devastating to those involved as often they are
plagued with relentless guilt. When there has been
"friendly fire" there is a sense of loss
that is not easily soothed.
There is an excellent example of
"friendly fire" found in the Book of Job.
Job was a righteous man who was blessed with family
and great wealth. One day, messenger after messenger
came to report one loss after another to him. Job ends
up in sack clothes with ashes on his head as he mourns
his loss deeply.
When "Mrs. Job" saw her
husband sitting in the rubble with a shaven head and
sores from head to toe she suggested that he stop
worshiping God and curse Him and die instead. He of
course had no intention of doing that. He looked for
answers. He cried out to God for relief. He was sick
and deeply grieved as a result of his losses but even
in all of this Job was without sin.
Three of Job’s buddies heard about
his plight, and traveling from their individual places
of residence to mourn with Job and to comfort him.
When they arrived and felt the grieving heart of their
friend they sat down on the ground with him and did
not speak a word for seven days. Though it was
impossible for them to know the pain that their friend
was experiencing still they were offering their silent
support.
When Job began to lament his birth
everything changed. Suddenly, these friends were full
of questions, consultations, and judgmental notions.
They went from being comforters to being sources of
pain. Making assumptions without proper knowledge of
Job’s relationship with the Lord they were certain
that his losses were the result of sin. They went from
showing pity to being pitiless and Job describes them
as "miserable comforters."
I do not believe that these friends
came with the intention of bringing Job more pain.
They came because they cared and wanted to console
him. Job did not have an immediate turn for the better
so finally they decided to share their thoughts on the
situation.
With each word spoken it seemed that
Job incurred yet another wound. He already had lost it
all in a manner of speaking, but now he felt alone as
these three friends did not have a clue. They fired
all kinds of spiritual ammunition at him. Instead of
protecting and even getting into the trenches of
battle they spoke words that caused further injuries
and pain. All three were guilty of "friendly
fire."
At times we are guilt of
"friendly fire." We see a person go through
something and initially we feel for them and want to
bring them comfort until the situation has passed.
When things do not turn around immediately we begin to
question why…and that is where we often get into
trouble. If we would only continue our "silent
support" those who we know who are already
suffering would not incur additional wounds or pain.
We speak of things that we know nothing of---and there
in lies the danger.
When we study the book of Job we
often focus on the last chapter. We see that Job was
restored by the Lord and given twice the amount that
he had before. We often miss a very important verse
though that leads up to that restoration. Job 42:10
says "And the Lord restored Job’s losses when
he prayed for his friends."
The first part of Job’s
restoration came when he prayed for his friends who
really had not been very friendly at all. They fired
shots in the form of accusations. They dropped bombs
by doubting his reputation. The Book of Job is full of
"friendly fire" but it also shows what can
happen when we choose to forgive those who should have
been comforting but wounded us instead.
Perhaps you are nursing wounds
today. Instead of offering love and support,
assumptions were made and judgment was passed on you
instead. As you look for the same two fold restoration
that Job experienced, do not forget that it did not
begin until Job took his eyes off his misery and
interceded for his friends. He followed the example of
Jesus Who cried out to God while being crucified
saying, "Father forgive them, for they know not
what they do."
If you have experienced
"friendly fire" recently during a time of
loss and have yet to see signs of restoration begin to
pray for all those who have wounded you with
"friendly fire." Begin thanking Jesus for
being "a friend that sticks closer than a
brother." Begin to see that the hurt you have
experienced was because of misunderstanding.
There is hope no matter what you
have been through. God has a plan for restoration in
you life. Your part in the plan is to obey the voice
of God and to offer up prayers for your friends
regardless of what they have said or not said---did or
did not do.
Restoration is on the way. Do not
delay it by holding grudges against people who really
do love you whether they are able to communicate it or
not.
